#1 Confess you never really got certified, you're just using a c-card you found while snorkeling.

#7 2000 lbs. of lead and I'm still floating?

#9 You'll have your scuba gear handy when your hotel starts to flood.

#3 Every time you were really close to your destination, your boat would crash.

#7 A lionfish petting guide.

#4 Don't go below 500? I thought my instructor said don't go below 130.R. Bear of Crestview, Fla.

#6 Six Flags asks if they can model their next roller-coaster after your dive profile.Tom Shepherd of Westfield, N.J.

#2 When asked for your dive planner, you hand over a bundle of travel brochures.

#5 "Easy on the wake mate, you know how much white water scares him."