#5 Your pre-dive checklist includes notifying the local search and recovery unit of your dive plan.

#3 You don't need to wait till half time to pee.

#6 Loudly proclaim that safety stops are for wusses. Scuba Diving's Top 10 Things Lists

#5 "That whale shark pictured in our brochure is the only one we've seen in 20 years of diving here."

#4 Ken would have to investigate all of Bill's past buddies.

#8 He quivers every time he hears the word "tank."

#7 Rudolph's nose shorts out under water.

#7 It's hard to break a leg while diving.

#5 Peeing in your wet suit doesn't attract predators.